Open Forum

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  • 1.  Parties negotiate in the head but settle in the heart – Mediators need to connect with both

    Bronze Member
    Posted 24-11-2020 05:59 PM
    Generally, parties negotiate from an intellectual position but often make that final last compromise to let go on an emotional plane.

    In family law cases the opposite can apply with parties negotiating on the emotional plane with the final last compromise coming from accepting a rational option.

    Navigating the relationship between the head and the heart is an essential part of mediator practice.

    The mediation intake session is crucial to establishing a human connection with the parties.


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    Greg Rooney
    Greg Rooney Mediator
    Bridgewater SA
    0405 612 789
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  • 2.  RE: Parties negotiate in the head but settle in the heart – Mediators need to connect with both

    Posted 25-11-2020 09:14 AM
    I couldn't agree more Greg. Thanks for sharing.

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    Chinwe Umegbolu
    PhD Student
    University of Brighton
    4.47414E+11
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  • 3.  RE: Parties negotiate in the head but settle in the heart – Mediators need to connect with both

    Gold Member
    Posted 25-11-2020 11:51 AM

    Great topic Greg. Apologise for not attending your Adelaide dissertation. Any precis or slides available?

    David

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  • 4.  RE: Parties negotiate in the head but settle in the heart – Mediators need to connect with both

    I'mLinkedIn
    Posted 26-11-2020 07:57 AM
    I agree with your comments on the importance of the intake session Greg.  It surprises me how much resistance there can be from laywers to a pre-mediation session.  Being able to do these over Zoom seems to be breaking down that resistance.  I'm also hearing anecdotally that there are a number of commercial mediators who don't even include an intake in their process other than to review the papers.

    The intake session is a great place for the parties to begin the process of understanding movement will be necessary and making them more comfortable with that idea when they come together in joint session.

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    Nicole Davidson
    Mediator and Facilitator
    Nicole Davidson Negotiation
    Malvern VIC
    0403 523 700
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  • 5.  RE: Parties negotiate in the head but settle in the heart – Mediators need to connect with both

    Bronze Member
    Posted 26-11-2020 03:55 PM

    I agree Nicole.  The intake meeting provides a deep understanding of the parties and where they are on the emotional scale. It has far more value for the mediator than anything gleaned in a private caucus during the mediation.  The intake session is pure gold for the mediator.

    I am really astonished - a surgeon would not just review the medical papers without meeting the patient before surgery nor would a barrister just review the brief without meeting their client before appearing for them in court.  The human element is at the core of any professional engagement including mediation.

    I suspect the legal profession has a long history of the de-personalising conflict negotiations which is why they culturally struggle with the human element.  It is partly why it has tried to colonise the mediation profession and render its processes in its own de-humanised image.

    It once took me nine months of separate intake sessions just to get the parties into the same room for a complex estate dispute. It would not have succeeded without this preparation.

    There is the old legal saying that success in the law is 90% preparation and 10% talent. The same applies to mediation.

     



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    Greg Rooney
    Greg Rooney Mediator
    Bridgewater SA
    0405 612 789
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  • 6.  RE: Parties negotiate in the head but settle in the heart – Mediators need to connect with both

    Bronze Member
    Posted 26-11-2020 03:38 PM
    Thanks David.  I am preparing a paper on the topic which I will publish in mediate.com  

    Will send you a draft.  Regards  Greg

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    Greg Rooney
    Greg Rooney Mediator
    Bridgewater SA
    0405 612 789
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  • 7.  RE: Parties negotiate in the head but settle in the heart – Mediators need to connect with both

    Early Adopter
    Posted 27-11-2020 04:58 AM
    I look forward to reading the article too, thanks.

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    Owen Hoskin
    Director
    Hoskin Consultancy
    Orewa
    027 4276343
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